Update Committee/2024-2025/Awards/Society Individual of the Year.md

Changed some wording, added a sentence

Committee/2024-2025/Awards/Society Individual of the Year.md

@@ -8,8 +8,8 @@ He helped forge connections with Games, Games Development, and the Anime & Manga
 directly helping the latter two in setting up.
 
 He was instrumental in the development of the UL Computer Society, 
-coordinating committee members towards preparing several unique events every week for both the 
-Fall and Spring semesters during his final year. He also set up Skynet, and is responsible for 
+coordinating committee members in preparing several unique events each week for both the 
+Fall and Spring semesters over his final year. He also set up Skynet, and is responsible for 
 most, if not all, of UL Computer Society's server infrastructure.
 
 
@@ -17,38 +17,34 @@ most, if not all, of UL Computer Society's server infrastructure.
 
 ### — Achievement 1 (5 Marks) (Max 250 words)
 
-* Brendan upgraded and revitalized Skynet and has highhandedly given regular training sessions 
-on how to use it. His hands-on training has helped our members learn subjects like Git, CI/CD 
-pipelines, and server infrastructure outside an academic environment without all the stressors 
-that adds. The training also helps enthusiasts find their passions in the field of computing.
+* Brendan upgraded and revitalized Skynet and has singlehandedly given regular training sessions to others on how to use it. His hands-on training has helped our members learn and utilize subjects such as Git, CI/CD 
+pipelines, and server infrastructure outside an academic environment without all the stressors and potential fallout that a proffesional environment would add. The training also helped enthusiasts find their passions and niches within the field of computing.
 
 ### — Achievement 2 (5 Marks) (Max 250 words)
 
-* He was also instrumental in the development of the Inter-Soc Committee member Discord server, 
-building a common space for all committee members of participating societies to coordinate with 
-each other and network. This has helped ease discussions and collaborations between societies.
+* Brendan was instrumental in the development of the Inter-Soc Committee member Discord server, 
+building a common space for all committee members of all participating societies to coordinate and network with one another. This has helped ease discussions and collaborations between societies.
 
 ### — Achievement 3 (5 Marks) (Max 250 words) 
 
-* Brendan was also responsible for providing a common space for all students in the Computer 
+* Brendan was responsible for providing a common space for all students in the Computer 
 Science and Information Systems Department to socialize and interact with their preferred subject 
 in an open and friendly environment. This has improved the social lives of many students in the 
 department, and better prepared them for a good post-college life.
 
 ## 3. What significant contribution have you made to the society/societies you were involved in during previous years of college? (Max 500 words)
 
-* Brendan's most significant contribution he made to UL Computer Society was the development of 
+* Brendan's most significant contribution made to UL Computer Society was the development of 
 Skynet, the society's in-house server infrastructure. Using it, he was able to host minecraft 
-servers for multiple societies, like Games Society. Additionally, he helped build Open 
-Governance, which allows the public to access information regarding decisions, event 
-information, and other important insights made by the Committee. This fosters a culture of 
-openness and transparency regarding why certain decisions were done concerning the society.
+servers for multiple societies, such as Games Society. Additionally, he helped build Open 
+Governance, which allows the public to access information regarding decision making, event information, and other important insights into current and past Committees. This fosters a culture of 
+openness and transparency regarding why certain decisions were made within the society.
 
 ## 4. Explain the top 2 challenges you encountered in your society work this year?
 
 ### — Challenge 1 (5 Marks) (Max 200 words)
 
-* One of the biggest challenges Brendan faced was adhering to GDPR regulations while setting up 
+* One of the biggest challenges Brendan faced was implementing GDPR regulations while setting up 
 the Inter-Society Networking Server. This was a challenge because it required a lot of back and
 forth with the C&S office to ensure that the server was compliant with GDPR regulations while
 also automating the process of adding and removing members from the server. 
@@ -67,7 +63,7 @@ events and Brendan had to coordinate committee members to ensure that events wer
 His contribution to the UL Computer Society's committee has been invaluable. He acted as the
 leader of the committee, coordinating members towards contributing towards given goals like
 preparing budgets, organizing events, and ensuring that the society's server infrastructure 
-worked well. He also regularly checked in on Committee members and offered help wherever needed.
+worked well. He also regularly checked in on Committee members and offered help wherever needed, often going beyond the call of duty to do so.
 His actions helped motivate a sense of responsibility among committee members and helped us create
 a friendly atmosphere in the committee and the society at large.